


Lay Your Life Down

by VeteranKlaus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 13:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17643896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeteranKlaus/pseuds/VeteranKlaus
Summary: After the invasion on Shiganshina ripped everything he had from him, Felix Bernard is determined to join the Survey Corps. With the Battle of Trost District, he might very well get his chance to prove he can fight for humanity. Even if that means fighting against his closest friends.





	Lay Your Life Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the second AOT game and the fact you get to make your own character to join the 104th cadets. Also wanted to do some character work and what better way to do it than something familiar first?

As soon as the commotion from Shiganshina died down, slowly, and his mind began to clear, Felix knew what he had to do. With images of titans and death still flashing on his eyelids, he knew he couldn’t just sit by, find a new home and family somewhere, and wait for it to happen again. He could do something, and as long as he had the option to do so, he wasn’t going to waste it.

He ate his rations beside three other teenagers from Shiganshina – Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman and Eren Jaeger – and learned where they came from, and he integrated slowly into their group, became friends with them. They all seemed determined to go into cadet training, too, especially Eren, and the fire behind his eyes resonated with Felix.

And as soon as they could, he followed them into the cadet training corps and into the 104th Cadet Corps, Southern Division.

Keith Sadies was a harsh man. He yells at them all, gets right into their faces, and breaks down their spirits. When Felix says he wants to take down the armoured titan and retake the wall Maria, Sadies says he’ll make great titan bait, and calls his name boring. Felix doesn’t let it get to him; he buries any frustration and turns it into determination to show him wrong, to become the strongest.

He knows from the very moment he stepped into the barracks, put on his first set of manoeuvre gear, that he’s going to join the Scouts. He doesn’t care about living in the interior like Jean, and there’s nothing for him in the Garrison. He knows that he’s going to join the Scouts as soon as he decided to join the training corps, too.

He proves to be a successful cadet. He’s fast, strong, and intuitive, but even so he competes with Reiner and Bertholdt, Mikasa, Jean, Annie and Ymir, all amazing and excelling cadets. In the long run they beat him, but he’s never far behind.

He watches and learns. He befriends most of the 104th quickly – he’s always been social, charismatic and good at making friends – and they share pointers and tips, help each other get better. During their free time they’ll sit outside or on their bunk beds, and speak. Reiner and Bertholdt are in the bunk next to him, and on the bottom bunk is Armin. Eren and Mikasa often come and they all sit together, chatting.

“So you’re all from Shiganshina then?” Bertholdt asks, and they all nod.

“Did you all know each other before… You know?”

Eren shakes his head. “Me, Mikasa and Armin have been friends since we were young, but we met Felix here after we’d been evacuated and we’ve been together since,” he explains, and Felix nods, light hair falling across his eyes.

“Do you guys know what regiment you want to join?” Reiner asks, piercing blue eyes flicking over them all.

Eren’s eyes flash as he states; “The Scout regiment, of course.”

Mikasa tips her head towards the boy, repeating what he said, and Armin nods in agreement. Reiner raises an eyebrow at Felix on the top bunk and he nods.

“Scouts,” he agrees, and Reiner’s lips twitch.

“Seems we’ll all be together then,” he says, and Felix smiles.

“At least we’ll know some people when we go up,” he says, and they nod.

One by one people drift off to sleep quickly, bodies aching and tired from the harsh training they endured earlier, and Felix pulls the leather bound journal from under his pillow. He’d been keeping it since Wall Maria broke, and it had almost every day detailed in. It was therapeutic to complete, relaxing, and he liked the idea that maybe it’d come in handy one day, or if he lived to an old age he’d find it again and be able to look through his action-filled days. It was a nice thought, and he made sure to put in as much detail as possible.

_Instructor Sadies put us through another day of rigorous training. It’s tiring and some people are losing motivation, his little comments finally getting to them, but I know all of this will be worth it in the end. When I finally enter the Survey Corps and see what’s beyond the walls and retake the land we lost._

_Now, though, I have to focus on being faster with my ODM gear._

_Tomorrow night we have team training – Instructor Sadies says that sometimes our own skill doesn’t matter in a fight, but the way we can work with and trust the people around us._

_I’ve already gotten to know most of the people here fairly well, but we’ve never had a chance to be put into groups and see just how well we actually trust one another and work with each other. It’s a good idea, and I hope I’ll be able to get some more points in Instructor Sadie’s good books. He’s a harsh man, but he trains us well now that we’ve proven we’re determined to stay here, and he’s complimented me on a few things. It hardly outweighs the critiques, but it’s something._

_Reiner is extremely talented. He gave me tips during our combat training today, but I’m hoping to find Jean tomorrow. He promised he’d help me out with the manoeuver gear whenever we had time._

Felix stares at the pencil on the paper until it gets too dark to read it, and then he flips the cover closed, the little leather strap through the hoops to hold it closed, and then slid it under his pillow. He hears someone shift on their bed, and he too pulls his covers over him and lets his eyes slip closed. His muscles are tired and it only takes a few minutes for him to fall into a deep sleep.

 

Like always, they wake up early in the morning and hurry to get ready. Felix is outside with Jean and Marco first, and they head quickly to the mess hall to grab whatever breakfast they can before Instructor Sadies hurries them to morning training. Sasha is there quickly, too, which is somewhat surprising as she’s a heavy sleeper. But when Felix realises that she also understands the importance of food before Sadies runs in, it makes sense. With bags under her eyes, she sits at one end of the table, shovelling food into her mouth. Felix can relate to that, and they nod at one another in a tired greeting.

“I can’t believe how early we have to get up,” Conny grumbles, rubbing his face with a sigh.

“You’re telling me,” Sasha says back, and gazes at the table as if she wants to slump over on it and fall back to sleep.

The rest of the squad slowly trickle in in different stages of wakefulness, some people yawning and rubbing their eyes, others coming in with a hop in their step and chatting non stop.

“I can’t believe he’s having us up this early in the morning and doing night training,” Eren says, running his hand through his hair. “I’m going to spend all our free time back in bed.”

Felix pushes his plate away, deciding he’s ate enough at this time in the morning, and nods. “Same, or I’ll end up sleeping in a tree and having to run another lap for it,” he says, and gets a few understanding nods.

They only have a few more minutes before the man himself shows up.

“Alright cadets, come on! You’re lucky I let you have so long to sleep. If you’re this lazy you’ll never graduate. Get moving!”

There’s a collective, silent groan shared between everyone with their eyes and body language, but they heave themselves to their feet, put away their plates, and rush out of the mess hall. Felix is half worried that Sasha might fall asleep on the way out.

They start with their usual warm ups and laps and then jump into close combat practice. Felix partners with Thomas. He’d gotten pretty close to the blonde over time – other than the trio he’d met during the evacuation from Shiganshina, Thomas was one of the first people he’d actually befriended. He was a nice guy. During their first experience with the manoeuver gear it had been him who swapped gear with Eren’s defective set, and though the guy seemed often pessimistic about the titans and humanity, he’d been coming out of his shell more, been getting more optimistic and determined.

He’s good at combat, too, though still slightly apprehensive in case he actually hurts someone, but Felix urges him to ignore that – push himself, push Felix too, and he does eventually. Thomas strafes to dodge a strike from Felix and catches his wrist, pulls him forwards with his momentum, and goes to kick the back of his knees. Felix falls, but twists to grab his forearm and pulls him down too, flips their position so he’s pinning Thomas on the dusty ground.

He struggles for a moment and then lies back, head thumping against the ground.

“Alright, Bernard, you got me. Now get off,” he grins, and Felix laughs but lets go and offers him a hand to stand up. And then they start again.

Sadies wanders between the sparring pairs, hands clasped behind his back, eyes cold and observing.

“Well done, Ackerman. Keep it up.” He nods at where she is a few paces away, offering her hand to Eren on the floor. He compliments Reiner, too, and Annie who’s waiting for Bertholdt to get himself off the floor. He walks near Felix and Thomas and the two go harder, strikes faster and with more force behind them, and Sadies watches them silently. Felix dodges under Thomas’s wide swing and catches him from behind, linking his arm under him and holding it up. He sweeps his feet from under him and follows him quickly to the ground, a firm hold on him before he twists his arm back, presses it down until Thomas jerks, taps the ground with his free hand until Felix lets go of him and stands up. He offers him a hand and pulls him to his feet, and Sadies tips his head in a nod.

“Not bad, Bernard. Keep it up,” he says, and then he continues patrolling the other pairs.

“I think he likes you,” Thomas says, his eyebrows raised slightly and Felix returns the expression.

“I don’t think he likes anyone,” he states, and Thomas snorts slightly, shrugging.

“Still, you’re as close to being liked as he can manage anyway.”

Felix presses his lips together, rolling it around in his mind. He supposed he gets lucky with Sadies’ approving comments, but so do many other cadets.

“Whatever, let’s keep going – we still have a while before dinner.”  


They rotate partners throughout the sparring and Felix finishes with Mikasa. He always enjoys sparring with her – she’s an impressive fighter and actually challenges Felix, which he wants. She wins in the end, unsurprisingly, but she helps him to his feet with a smile and he accompanies her to the mess hall and ends up sitting next to her, across from Jean, and near Eren and Armin.

Everyone digs into dinner ravenously and there isn’t much chatter, everyone too hungry to hold up a conversation until their plates are virtually licked clean, and then they file out of the mess hall, tired and pleasantly full.

“God, I could go for a nap,” Eren moans, hands on his back as he stretches, and Armin nods in mutual agreement.

“I probably will,” Felix states, “we still have group training tonight after all, and I’ll end up sleeping in a tree if I don’t do it now.”

Eren barks a soft laugh. “I might join you with that, it’s not a bad idea,” he says, and Felix says a quick goodbye before he ducks into their barracks. He climbs into his bunk when Eren comes in and quietly does so too.

It doesn’t take long before he drifts to sleep.

 

“Five minutes to get to the training forest, Felix – get up!” Someone’s hands shake him firmly, and he’s greeted with the sight of Armin reaching up to his bunk to shake him urgently.

“Five minutes?” He repeats, suddenly awake, and Armin nods his head, steps back and passes his boots up to him.

“Damnit,” he mutters, hurrying to pull the boots on and lace them up. He jumps up, grabs his jacket, and follows Armin out of the barracks.

They reach the training forest quickly and Sadies only spares a moment to scold them for their tardiness, and then he explains the instructions for tonight. They’re to be split into groups and have to create two bases to restock and resupply, and then take out the surrounding titan decoys and make their way to the finish at the top of the hill. And to their displeasure, it had begun to rain, steadily getting heavier.

Felix was put into a group with Conny, Sasha, Marco and Christa. Conny takes the lead first, declaring he’s the best leader of them all, and an hour and a bit later the other groups have gone ahead of them and they’ve yet to set up any of the bases.

“At this rate we’ll run out of supplies before we can get started,” Marco sighs, running a hand through his wet hair, and Conny’s cheeks flush.

“Hey – we were getting somewhere!” He defended, folds his arms over his chest, and Sasha slumps.

“We were getting nowhere, Conny!” She says, and holds her head. “We’ll miss snacks, too,” she sighs miserably, and Christa shuffles on the muddy forest floor.

“Guys, we just need to work together,” she offers, and then turns to look up at Felix with hopeful eyes. “What do you think we should do?” She asks, and Felix presses his lips together, glances around everyone.

“We should resupply and regroup here again,” he says eventually, “we’ll be no good without any gas.”

Marco nods at that, becoming more enthusiastic. “It’s a good start. Seeing how well Conny leads us, Felix, would you take the lead now?” He asks, and he startles slightly before nodding. His lips twitch slightly.

“Only if you all call me Captain, then,” he jokes, and Marco smiles.

“Sir yes sir, Captain Felix!” He salutes, and so do the rest of his group. Conny still looks slightly sour at the subtle jab at his lack of strong leadership skills, but he nods determinedly and they split ways to resupply quickly. The rain still hasn’t let up at all, and the darkness makes it harder to see, but Felix quickly finds more supplies and restocks his gas and blades before returning to their designated rendezvous. Sasha and Marco are already there, and Conny and Christa join them not shortly after.

“Alright Captain, now what?” Sasha asks, and she seems more enthusiastic than before.

“We still need to set up the bases,” Felix points out, and eyes the trees around them. “We’ll set one up at a point close to here and one closer to the left of the forest, and then head up to the final point.”

Felix leads them into the forest, anchors thudding into trees and propelling them through the dark forest. He liked this part the most – when he could twist and turn with the gear on his hips, the wind pushing his hair back, and he could hear the gear of his comrades whistling nearby him. It’d be nicer if Sadies’ piercing eyes weren’t following their every move.

He dropped onto his feet by the first base set up, sent the flare up indicating a base had been made, and they moved swiftly onto the next base point. The next move was to the titan decoys spread throughout the training forest, and he slipped the first set of blades into their hilts and headed to the closest one.

“Sasha, get the legs, Marco; go for the nape!” He orders and the two close in on the wooden decoy. Sasha’s blades slice through the padding on its legs and Marco flies past its nape, tearing through it with his blades.

They go onto the next one, and Christa cuts out its legs while Felix dashes towards its nape and his blades strike through it as he flies past it.

“One more, Felix!” Sasha calls, and Felix finds the last standing decoy.

“Conny, the nape!” He calls. His anchors thud into the wood by its legs and he presses down for a boost with his gas, spinning past and cutting through the pads on its legs. Conny, at the same time, speeds past him with a mechanical whizz and cuts through its nape with a laugh. He spins around to land beside Felix, shortly followed by Sasha, Marco and Christa.

“That was great, Felix!” Christa enthuses, and Felix rubs the back of his neck.

“Seriously – that was, what? Twenty minutes, while Conny took an hour,” Sasha says, her lips twisting into a smirk, and Conny rolls his eyes.

“Okay, I got confused – I could still beat Felix in combat or manoeuver gear any day,” he declares, and Felix inclines his head slightly.

“I’ll hold you to that, Springer,” he jokes, and Conny grins fiercely.

“You’ll regret it.”

Felix’s eyes flick to the side, where Sadies had been standing and watching them. He maintains Felix’s gaze for a moment before writing something down on the paper on his clipboard, and then begins walking back up the hill ahead of them.

“We’ve still got to make it up there, though – everyone’ll be waiting, let’s go,” he urges, and pushes off, letting his gear guide him through the trees again. He hears everyone else following behind, and leads them to the finishing spot.

Their boots are caked in mud and their clothes are soaking with mud specked across them, but they reach the finishing point where everyone is sitting around, taking shelter under trees. Ymir is even sitting under a little shelter she made with sticks and leaves – and it’s working pretty well – and she rushes to get Christa under it when they finally show up.

“Well, you lot finished way behind everyone else,” Sadies says, writing down their time, and they all flush. “What happened out there? You know what, I don’t even want to know. Back to base! You’re all soaked.”

Legs still sore from their work, Felix groans as they head back through the trees and to the barracks. Everyone hurries to get dry as quickly as possible, and Felix towels dries his near-white hair until it’s dry enough, and he slinks back into bed.

“I’m surprised I’ve not caught the flue or some crap,” he hears Jean mutter, and Felix snorts.

“Don’t jinx yourself now when we’re so close to graduation,” he retorts, and Jean groans.

“Even with the flue I’d still be better than half of the people here,” he says cockily, and Eren shifts on his bed.

“Is that a bet?” He asks, and Jean bristles.

“Bet whatever you want, Jaeger, I’ll win.”

“What are you two on about?” Mikasa pipes up, and Felix can almost hear Jean’s intake of breath.

“Whatever, I’m going to sleep now,” he mutters, and Reiner snorts quietly.

Felix slumps against his pillow, letting his eyes flutter closed. As far as he can remember Jean and Eren had always fought – the two were stubborn and opinionated and always clashed heads. But then Eren had Mikasa on his side, and no one really wanted to push her.

Felix thinks about how close graduation is. He knows what regiment he wants to go into without a doubt, but the thought still sends his nerves jumping, adrenaline rushing through him. Within a month he could have the wings of freedom on his back, could be going out to reclaim their land, fight for humanity’s freedom, get his justice with the armoured titan.

He falls asleep thinking about the Scouts and every time he’d seen them leaving for expeditions as a kid.


End file.
